How To Fix the NFL Ratings

Yes I know this topic has been beaten to death over the last couple of months. But I’m not here to talk about silly things like the elections or millennials or any dumb excuses like that. I’m here to talk about myself. As a man who went from watching every game every week, and participating in an ungodly amount of fantasy activities (teams, dailies, pick ems, you name it), to somebody who maybe pays attention to 1 game a week. I’m here to talk about what made me fall off, and how you can get me back.

What Exactly is the NFL?

The obvious answer is “They’re the football people. They run the football”. But this isn’t a public service that they just do for everyone. They’re a business who is out there to make money. An organization by the way, who is so big, you have to go to the second page of search results to find their Wikipedia page. And while Roger Goodell may be the face of the league, and ultimately the one in charge of it, he isn’t the league. The league is composed of 32 franchises, who elect a commissioner, vote on changes, and collect the profits. Goodell is just the one who is elected to collect a paycheck, and maximize profits for the franchise owners.

How does the NFL Make Money?

While each individual owner is allowed to make money off their teams through things like ticket sales, and team specific retail stores, the vast majority of the money the owners make is off of their share of the television deals.The NFL as a league, has much more negotiating power with the networks than any individual team does (IE the NFL is worth more than 32 times what the Jaguars is worth). Goodell and his team every few years renegotiate the contract with the networks. The networks pay for the rights to air these games, based on the projected revenue they will make off of advertisement deals they can make.

The perfect sport for TV

Football has a lot of stops in play, which allows the commentators to go through replay, or slip in a quick ad while the team is in the huddle. The NFL also has officials review a lot of the plays, which allows for commercial breaks, on top of all the commercial breaks that happen every time possession of the ball changes teams.Each team also only plays once a week, and only has 16 games a season. This means that every game is way more important than it is for teams in other leagues.

NFL all day, every day

For the last couple of decades, we’ve seen the NFL permeate outside of the weekly games. We’ve seen additional prime time games come into existence, as well as the rise of the NFL Network and NFL social media. This means that even if there isn’t a game going on, you can always watch some commentary outside of the typical pregame/post game or watch a documentary on a great player you never got to watch play. And with the popularity of fantasy football, you have a reason to watch developing news, or sign up for every apps alerts.

Why Rating declines are like a plague

It’s not so bad at first. A couple million fewer people watch Sunday Night Football, big deal. There’s still 10 times that number still watching, so ad space is still selling, so television contracts can still be negotiated even higher. But the NFL got to where it is, because they want every single person they can get their hands on. Hardcore football fans complain about pop stars performing during half time, or even how much the league promotes fantasy sports. But the fact of the matter is that those types of things have turned casual fans hardcore, and brought in previously uninterested parties as casual fans. The hardcore fans will always stay, but the casual fans are the ones who make up the bulk of the television audience, and thus the NFL’s revenue. If the game isn’t entertaining for casual fans, you will never make money.

Why are the ratings down?

  1. Anytime this question comes up, the first answer is always “the product on the field isn’t as good”. And of course this is highly subjective, but the fact that so many people feel that way makes it undeniable. Some of the most popular complaints are all the reviews, commercial breaks, and penalties slowing down the game, both making it less entertaining to watch, and a longer commitment.
    1. This is mostly a complaint by the hardcore fans, who want to watch a game of football. For the casual fans who use football as a social endeavor, this gives them a chance to order another drink, or check their fantasy lineups, or text their friend who knows more about football asking why there’s a penalty on that play. The stoppages in play give the casual fan a break, and a chance to collect their bearings, making it more enjoyable or them, and an easier commitment for them. And again…the casual fans outnumber the hardcore fans, so they’re more important here. And as mentioned before, allots the networks a chance to squeeze in another ad or two. So you need to review every fumble to see if the player was down by contact before he dropped the ball.
    2. But you can’t completely alienate your hardcore fan base. They’re part of the reason your casual fan base is as big as it is. Appealing to both fan bases is more of an art than a science. These penalties and reviews also often heavily favor the offenses, and while defense may win championships, offenses win viewership. So if a penalty is minor, and will impede the flow of the game, let it go. If a player is close to the line, give it to him. The amount of star power you would make off of DeAndre Hopkins getting a long TD is way more valuable in the long run than whatever commercial you played while the play is under review.
  2. Another argument that always comes up is he parity/over saturation of the league. What this means is that any given week there are 3 prime time games you have to watch, and then a couple of choices on that 1/4:25 time slot, and in certain regions there’s usually only one option at 4:25. That means that the majority of the time, you only have one option of game, and if it sucks, you’re gonna flip to something non NFL related. And the way the league is right now, there’s really only a few good teams out there, a few absolutely terrible teams, and a lot of mediocre teams that are very hit or miss. This means that we’re very often watching a team beat up on a team much worse than them, and this can only be entertaining for so long.
    1. The NFL has more teams, and more players per team than any other league. It also has the highest injury rate, leading players to retire before their fully developed due to a direct injury, or voluntarily retire in their prime to avoid the former. This pairing just leads to a really shallow talent pool.
    2. It’s time for the NFL to implement a farm system. While most 1st round talents will most likely be starters on the pro team still, you can send those 4th-7th round talents to the farm team. They can generate a little extra revenue, while developing their skills in a less injury prone environment. That 4th round LB with 3 years of extra playing time may not have a spot in your starting lineup. In the short-term it will cut your talent pool in half, but it will be cutting the lower half out. In a few years, they’ll be back in the league, playing better, and longer, and will help develop a deeper talent pool in the long-term.
  3. A problem facing the NFL that no one is talking about is the plethora of competition the NFL is facing. With the technology we have today, there’s an infinite amount of entertainment options available.
    1. If I start a game, and it sucks, I switch to whatever TV show I’m trying to catch up on at halftime. My dad will finish the game, but do something else on his tablet while it’s on. My grandfather will sit through the tragedy. My younger brothers never started the game, instead opting for an experience they knew they would like from the get go.
    2. The unpredictability of a game is by far its biggest appeal. We watch sports to see what will happen, and who will win. But whether or not it’s competitive should not be what is unpredictable. The younger a person is, and the less ingrained in their DNA sports are, the less likely they are to even give it a shot in the first place.
    3. The NFL being a casual sport to watch with a lot of stoppages definitely helps the advertisers, but it can hurt the fans. It makes it easier to find an exit point if you’re bored. The solution is to give me something to do when I get bored. Red Zone is a God send. When one game gets boring, whoop you’re watching another game that’s more exciting. It’s constant hours upon hours of highlight worthy action. We as a society have grown to really only want the highlights anyways. Most people don’t care about seeing every 2 yard run. We want to see first downs, touch downs, and turnovers. Prime time games are a great thing to sell as an idea to a network, but they’re too much of a risk as a product. You are putting all your eggs into one basket, months before you know how either of those teams will be. You can promote whatever headline you want, but the fact of the matter is that certain teams just don’t deserve to be in prime time, because they can’t be trusted to put on a good show. Prime time games also lose their value, when the majority of the games you watch are prime time games. And for people on the east coast, that 8:30 start time is a killer on a work night, and is a huge dissuasion from even starting the game.
    4. Go back to 1 prime time game a week. Sell that to the network, that they’re getting the only nationally televised game. Then you can play another game or two in an unopposed time slot on your network. Then let Red Zone have everything else. Or better yet, sell your own Red Zone like product. Many young people don’t have cable because it costs way too much, and thus these network games don’t work for the younger generation. But charge me $10/month for the NFL app that I can hook up to my television, and give me every game, every network show episode, everything. The amount of people you could get to pay $10/month to watch football would alone be a fortune. Plus you can keep the ad revenue you sell yourself, if you chose to do that.

Why this Morning is the Happiest I’ve Been as a Red Sox Fan

First things first…I’m not actually happy. I just wanted you to click and read. Second…keep an open mind moving forward because statistically speaking I’m about to say some things that will piss you off. The biggest one being…I hate David Ortiz, and I’m glad he’s retired.

Don’t get me wrong, Ortiz is great…when he wants to be. He can make a good team great enough to win a World Series, which I love him for. But he also can’t rally an underachieving team, and for that i hate him. And his status as a celebrity athlete just breeds pink hat fans, and further fuels everything I hate about the organization.

The Red Sox won the division mainly based on a mid season streak where everyone was playing well. And then they limped into October. Pitchers stopped playing lights out, and the hitters looked like they were holding wet noodles. That’s the kind of team a real leader shines in. That’s when somebody with the status David Ortiz had should rally the troops and make a real push at going out on top.

And Ortiz isn’t 100% to blame. The whole team put themselves in that 0-2 hole. I can blame Ortiz for not igniting a fire, but at the end of the day he can’t swing for everyone. He can’t be blamed for the horrendous pitching.

But he can be blamed for not getting a hit in his final game. He can be blamed for making sure the entire fan base focuses on the wrong thing.

The team choked. They got swept by a team that they should have beaten. All day today everyone is going to be talking about how sad it is that Ortiz retired, when it’s been pretty clear for a while that he’s done with baseball.

And in a sense, it is sad. The guy won 3 World Series with us. And he was the one that inspired the team to go from worst to first in 2013. But he’s been around, he had his time, and as much as I hate him, I don’t want to see him limp to a ring with an asterisk like Peyton Manning did.

Red Sox fans should be excited for a new era. Who is going to be the face of the team now? Pedroia? Price? JBJ? Bogaerts? Benintendi? Yes a legend retired, but it was bound to happen. At least the team has a lot of young stars, who now have an opportunity to become a super star. And all pessimism aside, the team has very few real big holes to fill.

2016 left a bad taste in my mouth, but I’m already excited thinking about 2017. And that’s why I woke up happy as a Red Sox fan today.

Why the Patriots Getting Shut Out Yesterday was the Best Possible Outcome

Weird title to hear from a Patriots fan right? Even weirder to hear from a Gillette Stadium employee who had to remain sober through that crap fest, and had a terrible shift because of it. But before I explain to you my outlook, lemme tell you just how unheard of yesterday actually was.

Gillette Stadium’s first year in existence was the 2002 season. So this is Gillette’s 15th year hosting the Patriots home games. In that time, the Patriots have never been shut out at Gillette (the UMASS Minutemen have however. 2012 against Bowling Green. #NeverForget). In fact, the last time the Patriots were shut out at home (cuz we don’t talk about that ’06 game in Miami), Drew Bledsoe was the starting rookie QB, Bill was coaching in Cleveland, TB12 was in High School, and the author of this blog was still eating Gerber baby food (at an age you’re supposed to be eating that stuff).

Now think back to the last couple of weeks, and what has been in the media. “Jimmy G is the future”. “Bill can even win with the 3rd string QB who needs Tom Brady”. “Tom Brady is just a system QB”. You know the headlines and sound bites I’m talking about. And truthfully a small part of me was worried about starting 4-0, with Tom being rusty, and all these headlines and pressure distracting him from playing football.

But all that changed at midnight last night (or this morning. I never know what to call it) when Tom Brady’s suspension was served, and he shared no cute Facebook post last night. We got shut out by the Bills at home. A team who had only won at Gillette once previously, a week 17 game when we already had home field locked up and went on to win the Super Bowl.

I guarantee he makes somebody cry in the first team meeting this week. I wish I could be there to hear how many F-Bombs he drops. He’s gonna be fired up. He’s going to bring out the best of his teammates. Gronk is getting healthier every week (I do get tired of saying that every year though). And you know Edelman and Amendola and Mitchell aren’t 100% yet either. Nink is coming back from his suspension.


I see this photo in my best dreams

I don’t care about September football. I don’t care about the occasional fluke loss against am AFC East opponent. But you know what I do care about? 3 months of angry Tom Brady. 3 months of a team with a bad taste in their mouth (remember week four in 2014 against the Chiefs?).

If there was a 40 point spread on this game in Cleveland on Sunday, I would take the over on that game. Hell if there was a 20 poi t spread IN Denver this Thursday, I would probably take the over on that too.

Yesterday sucked. We all know that. But the next 4 months are going to be amazing. We all should know that too.

Why I Stand (Pun Intended) with Colin Kaepernick

For those of you who clicked on this without knowing what story I was talking about, here’s what’s going on. Colin Kaepernick, back up Quarterback for the San Fransisco 49ers refused to stand up during the national anthem during a preseason game. His reason for doing so is a protest against police brutality towards minorities. And of course everyone in the country has taken a side, and as somebody with a relatively unknown blog, it’s my job to jump into the conversation.

You all caught up? Alright here we go:

First off, let’s set some base facts. I’m a very big supporter of “just shut up and do it” when it comes to societal perceptions of what makes you patriotic. We can spend all day talking about how the pledge of allegiance is borderline brain washing, and how putting the American flag on a speedo or bikini should be considered more disrespectful than sitting during the national anthem. We can talk about the fact that your 4th of July decorations are most likely made somewhere in Asia. But none of that is important because you’re fighting people’s’ feelings with facts, which never works. Point #2; I hate Colin Kaepernick. I’m a big Alex Smith supporter, so I’ve hated him ever since he first took the starting job in 2012. And ever since I thought he was the biggest douche, and the most overpaid starting QB in the league, who is now by far the most overpaid backup QB in the league. So with those 2 points made, you should all know there’s no bias here, and we can move on.

So if this post isn’t about national pride, and it isn’t about police brutality, then what is it about? It’s about this ugly mug right here:

Let’s take another look at a brief history of Kaep’s NFL career. 2011, relatively unknown draft choice. Known by draft gurus, but not a household name by any means. 2012 one of the more disappointing QBs of the last decade finally starts playing, the team is doing great, and then he gets hurt. Kaep steps in, is an automatic star, steals the job, goes to the Superbowl, and loses. He was one blackout away from Tom Bradying it. 2013 rolls around, he and his team give it their all, and make a damn good run, but the Seahawks were just a little bit better. 2014 the team misses the playoffs and fire their amazing coach. 2015 they’re suddenly the biggest joke of a team in the bay area, and Kaep loses his job to a guy who got run out of Jacksonville.

Now let’s look at the 2016 offseason. Kaep is technically #2 on the depth chart, but those things aren’t official until the preseason is over. He’s had offseason surgeries, he’s lost weight, and hasn’t been able to work out. His body resembles nothing of what it was a few years ago, so he’s no longer that dual threat that made him such a star. The only reason he’s on the team right now is because he’s guaranteed $14M. If the team decides to cut him and eat that money, he’s not in a spot where any team will pick him up, and his NFL career is probably over.

So what do professional athletes do when they feel their career is almost over, and they need a hail mary (pun intended)? They get in the news for something controversial. And nothing is more controversial right now than this whole police brutality thing. And Kaep isn’t the type of guy to just take this sort of thing sitting down (yes that was intentional as well). So now Kaep is in the news again. Now he has all these random supporters out of nowhere who may buy his jersey if he starts playing again. Now he’s on people’s minds. Now he just needs a job.

And you know who tends to like these overrated controversial players? The Cowboys. You know who could maybe use an extra arm right now? The Cowboys. You know who recently got in trouble with the NFL for supporting the police, and may jump on the opportunity to be sassy about it? The Cowboys. You know what team’s owner is a smart business man who will take any opportunity to make money? The Cowboys. Who know who has even offensive talent that even Kaep could look good? The Cowboys.

So now that Kaep has stood up (almost done) for what he believes in, he’s put himself in a decent position to get a starting job elsewhere. And he hasn’t really hurt his chances of keeping his back up job in San Fran. So now we just sit and wait (last one I promise), and see of Kaep’s gambit pays off.

Monday Motivation: Cute GIF Edition

This is my brand new weekly segment. The intent is for you to read it Monday morning either on your commute to work, or while you’re sitting at your desk pretending to work. The goal is for you to get a little pumped up, or warm and fuzzy, or inspired. Whatever makes you hate Mondays a little less, and start your week off on the right foot. So here we go.

And this week I’m going an unusual route for me: Just a collection of the cutest GIFs around, to start your week off with the fuzziest of warm tummies.



Dancing Chocolate


Squirtle Pusheen

Cat Seduction


Sleepy Panda






Turtle Ride.gif


Monday Motivation: Patriots Edition

This is my brand new weekly segment. The intent is for you to read it Monday morning either on your commute to work, or while you’re sitting at your desk pretending to work. The goal is for you to get a little pumped up, or warm and fuzzy, or inspired. Whatever makes you hate Mondays a little less, and start your week off on the right foot. So here we go.

Lets start with the guy who is having the best Monday of all time.

Happy Garoppolo

Somebody once told me I looked like this guy, and my smile was bigger than his

For those of you who don’t recognize this beauty, this is Jimmy Garoppolo. Jimmy G has been Tom Brady’s back up for the last two seasons. Last week, Brady announced that he had decided to serve his 4 game suspension, meaning Jimmy G will be the starter in September. Those 4 games will be at the Cardinals, and home against the Dolphins, Texans, and Bills. All 4 of those teams have some pretty good defenses. Jimmy G now has about 6 weeks to prepare himself for those games, and then 4 weeks to prove himself in those games. Jimmy G has worked hard, waited patiently, and now has his opportunity. And I haven’t met a single person who is worried about leaving the offense in Jimmy G’s hands. You should aspire to be more like Jimmy G. At some point in your job, you’re going to be asked to step up to a new challenge that business needs have presented before you. Make sure your teammates aren’t afraid of letting you accept that challenge.


And I know what you’re thinking. “This guy has all the talent and beauty in the world. My situation is nothing like his”. And I have a response for your doubt. Or really, TB12, the GOAT does.

Brady Quote

Tom Brady has risen to higher heights in his field than anyone else. And he’s still going. He’s also one of the best Cinderella stories of all time. So maybe he’s somebody whose advice you should listen to.

Next up on the list is the guy who loves his job more than anyone else.

Happy Gronk

Rob Gronkowski knows two things: football and partying. And honestly, it’s hard to know which one Gronk enjoys more. I want you to google Gronk, and tell me how long it takes you to find a time this guy complained. Seriously do it. I’m sure he complains from time to time, but that’s not his focus. He just keeps trying to make himself better…even when he’s already the best. And when he’s not celebrating on the field, he’s having the best off the field celebrations. This guy is just simply happy, all the time, no matter what. If you want to be successful, you need to love life as much as Gronk does. And that all starts with loving your job as much as Gronk does.


The above video is some of the most inspirational 90 seconds I’ve ever seen. Most guys don’t want to read/listen to bad things people say about them. But not Julian Edelman. This guy feeds on that. He wants to hear every bad thing you have to say about him, and prove you wrong. Then he wants you to insult him more, so he can rise even higher. You need to take criticism like JE11 does. You’re always going to have people telling you you’re not good enough. Will you prove them right, or will you prove them wrong?

And that ends my first Motivation Monday post. If this helped you get through your day/week, let me know. There’s plenty of more great inspirational stories on the Patriots, let alone the rest of the world.

But I’ll leave you with this; Do Your Job. If you have to, do your coworkers job. If you can, do your bosses job. The Patriots are successful because everyone on the team does their job. But in sports, there’s limits like salary caps and how many guys can be on the field at once. The corporate world isn’t like that. Your company’s potential revenue is limitless. Your company’s growth potential is limitless. Your personal success is limitless. So go out there, and do everyone’s job…until you’re high enough to decide what everyone’s job is.



Why on Earth am I now rooting for LeBron?

Growing up in New England, there’s a few opinions you’re forced to agree with. You hate the Yankees and call them cheaters, but you really don’t understand why. The Habs are dirty, even though you’re too young to understand that rivalry. Tom Brady can do no wrong, even though chances are he’s forgotten to fill the Brita filter once it twice.

But the one, most undeniable, inalienable claim is that LeBron James is the worst. No matter how talented he is, no matter how many rings he gets, he can do no right. You would punch your own mother before you rooted for LeBron. And my entire life I have been on that train more than almost anyone else. And yet over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself becoming a Cavs fan.

I know, I’m just as shocked as you are

It all started during the NBA finals. I was rooting for the Warriors all season. I liked Steph Curry and how amazing he was this year. I wanted them to break that regular season wins record. And then I wanted them to win it all, and undeniably become the best team of all time.

And then all of a sudden, the Cavs were down 3-1, and the sports fan in me automatically started rooting for the underdog, hoping for one of the greatest comebacks ever.

Then Draymon Green but punched enough people to earn a 1 game suspension.

Then Steph Curry couldn’t handle all the penalties and losing games and threw his mouth guard at some poor random kid in the stands.

Then Steve Kerr started bitching about how the big bad refs were calling fouls in his previous little unanimous MVP.

Then Ayesha Curry started tweeting about how the Cavs and the NBA are racist.

All of a sudden we’re in game 7 of the finals, and I’m rooting for the Cavs. I didn’t watch the game because I was much too busy with the Bastard Bowl, but believe me I wanted the Warriors to call more than I wanted the Boltons to call.

I told myself that Bron Bron and I were a one time thing. Just a one night stand to get back at somebody else. I in no way wanted a long term relationship with him.

Then all the Kevin Durant drew agency shenanigans happened. And he ended up in Golden State. And now the Warriors are the Monstars. The 2016 NBA season is going to be more one sided than the battle of Meereen.

Now Golden State is the bully. Now LeBron is the underdog. Now I understand why everyone hates the Patriots so much. When a team just had all best the league has to offer, you just want to root against them. I want the Warriors to lose. And the best chance of that happening is for LeBron to win. I wan the Cavs to sign Dwayne Wade. I want Kobe to come out of retirement and sign with the Cavs. I want the Cavs to do that thing from that one episode of Futurama and clone 5 Larry Birds. Anything so they have a chance of beating the Warriors.

Get Pumped for the 4th of July

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. America just celebrates how great America is, by doing the most American things imaginable; over eating, over drinking, and lighting things on fire.This holiday combines all my skills, hobbies, and interests into one always too short day of celebration. And not that any good American should need any extra assistance to get pumped for the 4th, but in case you do, this post is for you. It’s just going to be a collection of different pictures, and GIFs that best represent the greatness of America. Some serious, most funny. Enjoy.




Giant Burger



Lincoln on a bear



reagan velociraptor



Thanks Obama



Captain America punching Hitler


Fireworks gif









How to become a superhero (or at least look like one)

You’ve heard it a million times. Buy my DVD, take my weight loss supplements, eat my carefully portioned meals, stop drinking beer. There’s a million people out there making tons of money trying to help you lose weight. And most of them are hogwash. Especially the ones that make you stop drinking beer (all jokes aside, beer is the leading cause of dad bod).

You’ve also probably heard a million times about the unrealistic body standards that comic books set for both men and women. But the reality of that is that there are dozens of actors whose bodies are close enough, so they get to play them in movies and TV. And if you’re like me, you’ve always wanted to be a superhero. And although that’s not possible, looking like one is. And the best looking one by far is Chris Evans. Or at least in my current favorite (I’m straight guys I swear).

A few other disclaimers. 1) Chris is pretty vague in his interviews about what he does. Which makes sense. He literally make millions of dollars to look the way they do. Why would he reveal his secrets? So when I talk about work outs and meal plans, there’s a certain amount of guesswork involved. But I promise that if I couldn’t find one single source that spelled it out, I used deductive reasoning and educational assumptions to fill on those gaps. 2) If you’re going to use this article as your guide (which would be really awesome for me), remember that Evans was already in decent shape when he started. His diet and workouts are to put on lean muscle. If you feel you need to lose weight, you have to do that first, then you can build that lean muscle.

And without further ado, here we go.


Doncha wish your boyfriend was hot like him?


This guy is my example for two reasons. 1) I’ve been sporting a huge man crush on him lately and 2) I found out he doesn’t do any cardio. Which makes me love him even more.

The Gym
So as I said, Evans doesn’t do any cardio intensive for his role as Cap. He’s afraid of losing all the progress he’s made on his muscles. Rather he does circuit training instead to make up for the benefits of pure cardio workouts.

Chris says he works out Monday-Friday (it is his full time job), rests on Saturday, and then on Sunday he hits the muscle group that felt the least sore from his weekday workouts, or the one he thinks needs the most work.

So since Chris wouldn’t tell me his exact workouts, I’m going to use some deductive reasoning. His 5 days are probably chest, back/shoulders, legs, arms, and abs. I’m going to give you 3-5 good beginner exercises for each day. Do these exercises with the most weight you can. Once you start doing 2-3 extra reps a set, move your weight up a step.


Dumbbell bench: 3 sets of 7 reps
Dumbbell flyes: 3 sets of 7 reps
Incline Bench Press : 3 sets of 7 reps


Dumbbell Shoulder Shrugs: 3 sets of 10 reps
Dumbbell Shoulder Press: 3 sets of 7 reps
Bent Over Dumbbell Rows: 3 sets of 5 reps
Lat Pulldown: 3 sets of 10 reps


Deadlift: 3 sets of 10 reps
Lunges: 3 sets of 5 reps
Squats: 3 sets of 10 reps


Seated Dumbbell Press: 3 sets of 7 reps
Cable Tricep Rope Pulldown: 3 sets of 10 reps
Dumbbell Kickbacks: 3 sets of 10 reps
Concentrated Bicep Curls: 3 sets of 10 reps
Hammer Curls: 3 sets of 10 reps



Crunches: 3 sets of 25 reps
Russian Twists: 3 sets of 25 reps
Planks: 3 sets of 30 seconds
Push Ups: 3 sets of 15 reps
Pull Ups: 3 sets of 5

Captain America Biceps

I mean…ugh look at those biceps


A friend of mine once told me “you can’t out train a bad diet”. And Evans seems to follow that advice as well. Again, Chris already started pretty slim, so his diet is 100% about putting on more muscle. If you need to lose weight still, do that first, then come back here.

Chris didn’t pull a Tom Brady and put out an entire $200 cookbook, but he was a little more specific about his diet than his workouts.The biggest take away is that he advises 2 grams of lean protein in your daily diet for every kilogram you weigh. So in more American terms, if you weigh 225 lbs (like I do), you can eat a pound of lean meat. That’s half a rotisserie chicken, or 16 eggs. He also eats things like Greek yogurt, almonds as his snacks, and complex carbs like brown rice or oatmeal. But the bulk of his diet is by far dark green leafy vegetables.

Like I did with the gym, I’m now going to give you a couple of good starting options for each meal. Feel free to edit them to taste, but also remain mindful that if you remove items, or add too many bad items, you’ll be completely defeating the purpose.


Option 1: Omelette
-4 eggs (or whites if you’re fancy)
-Season with salt and pepper
-Fill with vegetables like broccoli, spinach, or peppers. Do not fill with meats like sausage or ham
-Feel free to do salsa and beans for an extra protein packed delicious southwestern omelette
-Limit your cheese, but use it. You’re not an animal. We live in a society.

Option 2: Oatmeal
-2 packets of plain oatmeal (dinosaur eggs add too much sugar)
-Milk for moisture (or almond milk if you’re one of those people)
-cup of walnuts
-cup of raisins
-a container of low fat yogurt
-a banana


Option 1: Dumke’s favorite salad (Notice the lack of measurements. It’s a salad. Load it up)
-spring mix lettuce
-1 can of tuna
-banana peppers
-black olives
-shredded Asiago cheese
-a reasonable amount of Italian dressing

Option 2: Turkey Wrap
-you know what goes in a turkey wrap. Just use mustard, or a very little amount of mayo.. Also use a tomato or spinach wrap. And no bacon.


The Classic Template
-Your lean protein of the night. Grilled chicken breast about the size of your palm. Salmon. White fish. You decide. Be smart, make it taste good. Don’t cook using butter
-Your healthy carb. 1 cup of brown rice. 1 baked potato. 1/2 a cup of whole wheat pasta. Yes carbs are good and should be eaten…in a small amount.
-1 cup of your favorite veggie. Broccoli. Asparagus, Carrots. Be creative. Fresh first, frozen second. Canned never.

Snack options:

-Some nuts. And no it doesn’t always have to be goddamn almonds. Be cheap and get some peanuts. Or be fancy and get deluxe mixed nuts. Just be you and go nuts.
-Protein bars
-A small helping of fruit. Remember they’re all sugar. Good sugar. But still sugar.


I’m surprised Chris doesn’t have more ice cream in his diet…


Chris Evans Ice Cream

And with that I’m done. I need to go…do something else on the internet now, before I start questioning why I liked making this post so much.

Captain America vs Iron Man, or Idealism vs Reality?

So unless you live under a rock, you know that in a few days we’re going to have the third Captain America film hitting theaters, and that this film will be taking things to a new level by having Cap and his buddies square off against Iron Man and his buddies. But it’s about more than just the people involved, or even the government sanctions they’re fighting over. This is a fight between the idealist version of America, and the realistic version of America.

The Heroes

Captain America is the ideal superhero. The perfect story about how as long as you have enough heart you can become whoever you want. He’s always been fighting for what’s right, and inspiring Americans everywhere to be the best they can be. He’s the personification of the American dream. He wanted something, he worked hard, and he was rewarded for it. He’s what we Americans feel best represents our resolve, and thus is who we aspire to be.

Iron Man is the exact opposite. He never had to work hard in his life. He was born into the riches. He was also born a bigger genius than his father, so when he took over the company he was able to make even more money. He spent most of his life getting as drunk as possible, and sleeping with as many women as possible. Then when he was captured, he looked around the cave he was in, and built his best weapon yet and blasted his way to freedom. When he got home, he built an even better suit, and decided to become a superhero purely for the fun of it. Iron Man only does good things because he can, and it stops him from getting bored. Between his money, his brains, and his company, Tony Stark was born with everything he needed to become Iron Man.

America is obsessed with the idea of the American dream, and that’s why we love Captain America. He makes us think that if we work hard enough, we can do whatever we want. But the American dream isn’t real. Or at least not as common as we like to pretend it is. Most people are rich because they were born rich. Most rags to riches stories are about people who were born smart, or had one good idea, not people who spent their entire life studying or working hard.

Captain America represents the idealistic view of American success, while Iron Man represents the reality of American success.

The Fight

So in case you never read the comics, or didn’t get this information from the trailer, I’ll explain to you what Cap and Tony are fighting about. The government is tired of superheroes running around freely doing whatever they want. So they want superheroes to register themselves with the government, make their secret identity public knowledge, and only take part in fights that the government assigns to them.

Captain America thinks this is a breach of freedom, and that people who are doing good things should be allowed to do so at their discretion, and without giving up their privacy. Cap sees the good in people, and trusts them to do the right thing, without being told what the right thing is.

Iron Man understands that powerful people need to be kept in check. Tony understands that while they had good intentions, they caused a lot of destruction. Tony understands that the public is only scared, and they want answers. He understands that giving people the appearance of strict regulations will make the public feel safer.

Captain America is idealistic, thinking that just by doing the right thing that society will accept you. Iron Man is realistic, knowing that society won’t trust you until they think they control you.


Captain America personifies the American dream, and thus represents what we think a hero should be. He also believes that as long as the heroes have good intentions, society should trust them to roam free. Iron Man on the other hand represents what American success really looks like. Iron Man also recognizes that people won’t trust you unless they feel they have some sort of control over you, and feels that part of being a hero is giving up some personal freedom in order to better serve the people you wish to protect.